Balls

Bad times, guys; I am once more without a partner. The news that Steph no-longer wants to go at all was broken to me via an out-of-the-blue text message and threw a spanner into my best laid plans. Of course I immediately tried to talk her out of quitting, but her mind is pretty made up thanks to her chronically worrying parents that fear for the safety of their young daughter for some reason, I think she got cold feet and the two-day-long peaceful protests in Morocco earlier this week, that were reported in the news as if they were going to be the start of a months long civil war, were the last straw. Raise your hand if you think the nation of Morocco should sue the media for libel, since they knew damned well that what they were reporting was bullshit that could damage Morocco’s tourism trade? Anyway, naturally when Steph refused to be convinced, I had no choice but to throttle her.

Her taunting, grinning face still haunts me at night... Usually on nights when we play drinking games

So, now that I’ve established myself as a completely non-violent, reasonable person, who wants to be my new partner?!  I’m looking to leave from somewhere in the region of Manchester preferably on the 16th or 17th of April and my flight back to England is booked for the 26th of April. Email me if you’re in need of an extra group member. If you haven’t booked your flight back yet, Steph might be able to get her ticket transferred to your name. As for partners, I hear that hitching groups with more than one guy are far less likely to be picked up, so it’s girls or pairs of girls that still need a male partner only, I’m afraid.

The gig on Saturday is rapidly approaching, and being that arty types are largely unpredictable, Mobius Loop have pulled out. Fortunately, Charlie has already organised an even better band, that totally play instruments and everything, to replace them for you. The lineup now consists of The Pretty Thunder, The Curiosity Shop and Moke ‘n’ Libby with Comedian Lewis Costello presenting the night, which should be sweet. As for other fundraising efforts, still no news yet on the street collection last Wednesday, but all the same, a special thanks to Mancunians around their city centre on the Wednesday before last, Harriet Beaverstock and her Hitch reps for organising the whole thing. Flaunting their wonderful city in front of someone forced to live in Preston was mildly cruel, though. For future cash gathering, as you may have discerned from my comment exchange with fellow Hitcher, Simon after my last post; I’m now planning to make and sell pancakes on the Central Lancashire campus, complete with a selection of toppings on Shrove Tuesday, which is coming up on the 8th of March. Everybody loves pancakes... you know, except vegans... so I’m mentioning this quite early to give anyone having difficulty with their fundraising a chance to steal the idea and plan their own sale. If you do, it would be cool for you to give me some recognition; mention me on your own website if you have one, write a link to this website on your forehead while you sell your pancakes, scream my name the next time you’re with your lover, whatever’s good for you.

As usual, click here to stay updated, any donations of any size can be made by clicking here, and if you live near Preston, don’t forget to show up today (Saturday 26th) at the Ship Inn at about 7:30 this evening for awesome music, hilarious comedy and intoxicating booze.